it’s all about the mindset

Where do you draw the line?

I have the privilege of working at Tedworth House which is a Recovery Centre for Help for Heroes.  This is printed on one of the walls in the gym. I had to share it. It really is inspirational and sums up the guys of Help for Heroes really well. #supportourwounded

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THIS IS THE LINE

THE LINE BETWEEN LOSING AND WINNING,

BETWEEN FAILURE AND SUCCESS,

BETWEEN GOOD AND GREAT

BETWEEN DREAMING AND BELIEVING,

BETWEEN CONVENTION AND INNOVATION,

BETWEEN HEAD AND HEART

IT’S A FINE LINE.

IT CHALLENGES EVERYTHING WE DO

AND WE LIVE IT EVERY DAY.

Already Perfect Campaign

To be beautiful means to accept yourself.  You don’t need to be accepted by others.  You need to accept yourself. – Thich Nhat Hanh

 

You will have seen all the bare faced selfies going around on Facebook to help raise funds for Breast Cancer.

This has raised over a million pounds in additional funds to help beat a hideous disease. An amazing achievement!

Lets take a moment to reflect on how we are progressing against this disease.

Half of the people diagnosed with cancer now survive their disease for at least five years.

Cancer survival rates in the UK have doubled in the last 40 years.

Three-quarters of children are now cured of their disease, compared with around a quarter in the late 1960s.

So on this level it has been fantastic.

What has also been fascinating has been the almost apologetic tone from women about having their photos published without make up.  You sense this underlying feeling that to be perfect, acceptable and accepted we must only present ourselves fully made up.

I was asked by Ditch The Diet as one of it’s coaches to go 5 days without make up and photograph myself morning, noon and night to evidence this.  I must confess I gulped on reading this request (not least because I don’t like having my photo taken).  I was scared.  I have not presented myself in public without make up since I was 16.

I don’t wear make up on sundays these days as generally pottering around my home and it’s good to let your skin breathe. However as soon as I leave home you can guarantee make up will be applied.

Make up is great, I love playing with it for different looks and for if I need a little confidence boost but I feel it’s a sad reflection of me if I have to rely on it to function with any confidence.

So I agreed to be sponsored to do this.  It will raise funds for a fab cause and hopefully show that we can go out and just be.

Here is the link if you wish to show support and donate:

http://ditchthedietuk.com/already-perfect/

The coaches and I will be going from Monday – Friday this week without make up.

Here is the first of my make up free selfies

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You will never be able to escape from your heart.  So it is better to listen to what it has to say  – Paul Coleho    The Alchemist

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Beautiful to love the ordinary.

Anyone can love a rose, but it takes a lot to love a leaf. It’s ordinary to love the beautiful, but it’s beautiful to love the ordinary – Unknown

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Enjoy your ride.

It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes.  It is in fact true.  It’s called living – Terry Pratchett

 

Life is too short to let it pass you by.  Chase your dreams but don’t be so busy as to not appreciate what is happening now. We can all be guilty of keeping our heads down and “getting” through the day. We can miss some of the moments that make life beautiful.

For me, even if the world has gone potty, I try to capture at least 3 “wow” moments in my day. It could be anything from my son H’s chuckle, seeing a client make progress, to a view before me, to achieving a PB in the gym, making someone smile etc. The list has huge scope.

Just appreciating the moment for what it is – stunning.

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Seek to Understand

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For those of you who have read Stephen Covey, you will recognize the title from his book “The 7 Habits for Highly Effective People”.

“Seek to Understand” is Habit Number 5, and talks about really listening to people, to really understand them.  Most people listen with the intent to reply,  not to truly understand them.

Listening to understand is a fantastic habit and one I will probably write about later, but for today I am bringing this one a stage closer to home by asking:

  • How well do we seek to understand ourselves?
  • How well do we listen to ourselves?

Going right back to the Greek philosophers’ times, they suggested that humans are, in fact, deeply unconscious and automatic creatures who sleepwalk through life.

Quite a bald suggestion but how true is it?  How conditioned are we?

I shall use myself as an example. My understanding as I grew up was this tick list of life landmarks:

  • Go to school and pass exams
  • Go to college and pass exams
  • Go to university and get a degree (epic fail on that one as I gained 2 Ds and an E at college so no university for me)
  • Start perfect lifelong career
  • Meet a man and buy a house
  • Get married
  • Have children

The list goes on.

I must say that from college onwards my tick list of landmarks varied in order of appearance and I added a whole lot more to it (and long may I add to it). Plus a few curve balls have been thrown at me for good measure.

As humans we all have dreams and aspirations of what we would like to achieve and these dreams may change over time as we grow and develop.

There is huge variety in these dreams as it depends on the individual and the area of their life they are thinking about.  We have so many options available to us but dare we take them?

So coming back to seek to understand – ask yourself this:

If it didn’t impact anyone – what would I like to be?

Take time to enquire of yourself on this one and think of your heart’s desire.

When you have that answer write it down.

Then you have something to work towards and it enables you to start striving to live your heart’s true desire.

It doesn’t mean it will happen immediately, but by listening to yourself it gives you a cracking start point. You can then start to plan.

As an example – Two of my heart’s desires were (and are!) as follows:

  • I want to be a Massage Therapist
    I was an Area Mortgage Sales Manager for a large bank with my 15 year career in Financial Services and mum to my then two year old boy.  I went back to college at night, re-trained, qualified, set up my own business working evenings and weekends whilst continuing to be an Area Mortgage Sales Manager until my business was financially viable.  It is one of the best moves I ever made. At times through the journey I questioned my sanity, but I knew my heart’s desire. I adore my work and it doesn’t feel like “a job”
  • I want to be healthy
    I had ballooned in weight and had a lot of health issues. I went from a size 16 to a healthy lean size 8 and the health issues I was experiencing have gone with the weight.

Both are ongoing, both are hard work, and both have needed help and support from others as I strive to improve.  Both make me happy and, interestingly, “healthy” was not on my original tick list and the other took a while but I am on the right career path for me now.

So I ask you to ask yourself again:

If it didn’t impact anyone – what would I like to be?

Write it down and remember this (I love a good quote)

“Because you are alive, anything is possible” – Thich Naht Hanh

Eve Patti –  Simply Ripping Feb 2014

References:

7 Habits for Highly Effective People by Dr Stephen R Covey

Philosophy For Life And Other Dangerous Situations by Jules Evans